


Footprint

by Knappster



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Future Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2019-11-14 02:57:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18044150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knappster/pseuds/Knappster
Summary: After years of thinking Aubrey had left her, Bella finds out the truth.





	1. Chapter 1

The first thing Bella noticed as she turned the corner to her street was that there was a strange car on the driveway. It looked expensive but understated; certainly not like the cars that usually parked on this quiet street of suburban Chicago, where SUVs and sensible sedans were the norm. The second thing she noticed as she got closer was the sticker with a blue B on the back bumper, which meant that the visitor was a Barden Bella.

She felt her heart rate quicken for a second before her rational side won out. She knew it was stupid to expect that the Bella that was currently visiting was someone other than the usual mix of annoyingly loud women.

She plodded up the front steps, taking a deep breath before opening the door and walking inside. “Ma, I’m home!”

“Great! You’re here.” Stacie skipped out of the kitchen and gave her a quick side hug as a greeting. “Can you check the pasta in the stove?”

“I’m perfectly capable of watching water boil!” Someone Bella identified as Beca yelled from the kitchen.

Stacie was already halfway up the stairs and gave Bella a pointed look. “Please?”

Bella nodded, returning her mom’s smile and watching her walk the rest of the way up. Once she was out of sight, she turned to toe off her shoes, placing them next to the hall closet and hanging her jacket inside.

She was relieved it was Beca and not one of the others, at least Beca was cool. If cool was a word she could use to describe the people her mom met through her college a capella group. 

She tried not to think too much about the fact that she was named after said lame a capella group.

“Hey,” Bella called as she entered the kitchen.

Beca peeled her eyes off the pot and smiled at the girl. “Hey, Bells.” She gave the pot a weary look and frowned. “You don’t have to watch me.”

Bella shrugged, hopping onto a stool across the kitchen island where she could watch the pot without hovering around Beca. She took her phone out, intent on killing time scrolling through social media while she waited for her mom to come back.

“How’s school?” Beca asked.

Bella shrugged again, not looking up from her phone. “It’s fine.”

She could feel Beca watching her and she looked up, arching an eyebrow and making her look away awkwardly. She thought about asking Beca about her latest album in an attempt to fill the silence, if only so Beca didn’t feel forced to do it.

“Oh!” Beca seemed to remember something and looked back. “Have you seen Aubrey yet?”

The racing in her heart she felt when she saw the car on the driveway came back. “Aubrey?”

“Yeah, I figured you’d be the first stop after she moved back.”

“She’s back?” Bella asked softly. She swallowed, her heart thumping against her throat. Aubrey was back and she hadn’t tried to contact her. “When did she-”

She shook her head. She could feel tears prickling at her eyes despite her best attempts to keep them at bay, one of them rolling down her cheek making her wipe her face angrily. She thought she was over this. It had been years since she’d cried about Aubrey leaving them. Leaving her.

“Bella?” She felt Beca next to her, her hand reaching out towards her arm.

Bella jumped off the stool and backed away. “I’m fine.” She chuckled, annoyed at herself for getting upset. “It’s fine, I’m not a kid anymore. I don’t need my-” The word mom got stuck on the back of her throat. “I don’t need her.”

“Bella, I’m sorry.” Beca bit her lower lip worriedly. Bella could tell she was trying to think of something to say but coming up empty.

She shook her head. “It’s fine, really.” She wiped at her cheek again and went to the stove, stirring the pasta and forcing herself to focus on the boiling water instead of the pain in her chest. “I’m sure she’s busy.”

“Maybe she’s worried your mom still doesn’t want her talking to you.”

Bella stirred the pasta, taking a few seconds to digest what Beca had said. She frowned, turning to Beca. “What do you mean still?”

Beca’s eyes widened. “What?”

“You said still doesn’t want her talking to me. Still.” She shook her head confused. “She didn’t want Aubrey to talk to me?” She thought back to the last few times she’d asked her mom about Aubrey, how she’d responded. “Mom!”

“Bella, I-” Beca looked full on panicked now.

“Mom!” Bella yelled louder, ignoring Beca.

“What? I’m coming.” Stacie entered the kitchen, looking at the stove worriedly and then turning towards Bella and Beca. “Where’s the fire?”

“Stace, I-” Beca started.

“Did you tell Aubrey she couldn’t talk to me?” Bella blurted out.

Stacie frowned, looking between Bella and Beca for a few seconds and then moving to turn off the stove. “It wasn’t like that.”

“How was it?”

“I didn’t want you to feel like she was only half there.”

“So you made her not be there at all? What the fuck, mom?”

“Hey, language.” Stacie glared at her.

“No, you have to be fucking kidding me!” Bella threw her arms up. “I thought she left me!”

“She basically did!” Stacie said loudly. She stopped, took a deep breath, and tried again. “It was for the best.”

“You don’t get to decide that!” Bella’s voice cracked.

“I do, I’m your mom.” Stacie said softly and shook her head. “I’m sorry, I really am, but I was just trying to protect you.”

“I can’t believe you did that.” She pushed past her and ran up to her room, not able to hold the tears back anymore.

She slammed the door closed, letting out a sob now that she was alone. She thought of all the times she’d considered reaching out to Aubrey but hadn’t because she figured Aubrey didn’t care, of all the birthdays she’d hoped for a call or a card and ended up disappointed. She’d lived almost half her life thinking Aubrey didn’t want to talk to her or see her, wondering what she’d done wrong, but it had been her mom.

She could look for her now. Ask her in person why she’d left, why she’d never called.

She could hear her mom arguing with Beca downstairs. If they were still in the kitchen, she’d be able to sneak out without them noticing.

She made up her mind, grabbing a backpack and throwing in a few essentials. She didn’t know if this would go horribly wrong, maybe she’d be disappointed for the millionth time in her life, but she needed to know the truth.

She tiptoed down the stairs, grabbed her jacket and shoes and hurried outside, waiting until the door clicked softly behind her to bend down and put on her shoes. With one last look at the house, she jogged down the street to the bus stop, her heart hammering in her chest.

She didn’t know where exactly she was heading, but she knew who to ask. And then… Then maybe everything would be right again.


	2. Chapter 2

The knock on the door was soft, so soft Aubrey wouldn't have heard it if she'd been further in the apartment or if she'd had the TV on. She paused for a few seconds, thinking she'd imagined it, but a second knock came, this time a little louder.

She went to the door, putting down the book she'd been unpacking from a box in the living room. "Coming!"

She grabbed her phone from the dining room table, noticing she had a couple of missed calls from Chloe. She thought about returning them when there was a third knock. She put the phone back down and walked to the door to open it.

The girl on the other side looked up at her wide eyed and took a second to compose herself before speaking. "Hi." She hesitated. "I didn't know if I- I wanted to- I mean, I-"

Aubrey got over her initial shock and stepped forward, engulfing the girl in a hug. "Bella." She heard the girl choke out a sob and felt her squeeze back. "What's wrong? Are you okay? Is your mom okay?"

She pulled back, holding Bella at arm's length and giving her a once over. She cupped her cheek and wiped her tears.

"I'm fine." She shook her head. "Mom's fine."

Aubrey hugged her again, trying really hard not to start crying herself. She hadn't seen Bella in years, she wasn't sure how she'd recognized her, she looked so different. She felt a tear roll down her cheek and she took a deep breath, pulling back from her.

"Come in." Aubrey closed the door, leading Bella to the living room. She was dying to ask Bella what she was doing there but she didn't want her to think she didn't want her to be there.

She sat down next to her, squeezing her hand and pulling it onto her lap. She looked up at her, studying the teenager in front of her. She looked a lot more like Stacie now, her hair a little bit lighter, her green eyes had just a hint of eyeliner.

She felt a pang seeing how much she'd missed. The last time she'd seen her she'd been wearing her favorite dinosaur pajamas, holding one of her stuffed toys to her chest. A far cry from the fourteen year old sitting in front of her, wearing ratty jeans and a black sweater too large for her.

"Does your mom know you're here?" Bella tensed up and Aubrey knew what that meant. "Bella, what happened?"

"My mom-" She took a breath and pulled her hand back from Aubrey's grasp. "Why did you leave?"

"Bella." Aubrey sighed. She'd thought about this conversation a million times, she hadn't known if she'd ever get a chance to explain, if Bella would even want to hear her. "I had a job in London."

"You could've called."

"I wanted to, Bells, I really did but-"

"My mom didn't let you," Bella said, her eyes shining with anger.

Aubrey didn't know how she'd found out, she was sure Stacie would have never told her that. "It was more complicated than that. We both thought-"

"You're defending her?" Bella's eyes started shining with tears again. "She made me think you didn't care."

Aubrey wrapped her arms around Bella, rubbing her back. "Baby, we never meant to hurt you. Your mom and I-"

Bella pulled back and stood up. "How did you think I would feel when my mom left and didn't talk to me for four years?"

"Bella." Aubrey watched the girl pull back, crossing her arms against her front. This was exactly what she'd tried to avoid by staying away. She didn't want to be a constant disappointment to Bella, making promises she couldn't keep and then breaking her heart. "I'm very sorry I left, and I'm sorry you thought I didn't care. I love you."

"Right." Bella scoffed.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Bells. We were just trying to protect you." Aubrey stood up and walked up to her.

Bella looked up at her, her lip was quivering, looking just like she had when Aubrey told her she was leaving. She bit her lip and shook her head before throwing her arms around Aubrey. "I needed you."

Aubrey squeezed her back. "I'm so sorry."

Aubrey let her cry for a while, remembering the time she'd fallen off her bike and scraped her knee, or the time they'd had to take out her appendix. It broke her heart to know how much she'd hurt her.

She'd tried not to think too much about Bella and Stacie after she'd left. She had wanted to be there for Bella but as soon as she moved away, being in a different time zone made it impossible for her to be there the way she wanted to. Stacie had agreed that putting Bella through what Aubrey went through with her father wasn't fair. She either had to be there for Bella full time or not be there at all.

She wanted to reassure her, promise her she'd be there for her now, that she'll never leave her again, but it wasn't up to her. She needed to talk to Stacie first.

She pulled back when Bella stopped sniffing. "We need to call your mom."

"Why?" Bella frowned, wiping her face with the back of her hand.

"She doesn't know you're here. Where did you tell her you were going?" Bella bit her lip and looked away. "You didn't tell her you were leaving?"

"She thinks I'm in my room."

"Jesus." Aubrey went for her phone and dialed Stacie's number. "Hey, Stace. It's me."

She heard Stacie suck in a breath. "Aubrey?"

She swallowed, trying to calm her nerves, and turned away from Bella who was looking at her pointedly from the couch. "Bella's here."

"What do you mean-" She heard Stacie stomping up a set of stairs. "Bella?" She pounded on the door. "Shit. How did she get there?"

"I don't-" Aubrey looked at Bella blankly. She hadn't thought to ask how the fourteen year old had made it there.

"I'm on my way, text me the address."

"Stacie, I don't think-"

"Text me the address, Aubrey."

Aubrey looked at her phone and growled. Stacie had hung up on her. She texted her the address, knowing she would call again if she didn't do it immediately.

"So your mom's on her way."

Bella groaned and leaned back, throwing her arms up. "Why does she have to be so dramatic all the time?"

Aubrey chuckled and sat back down next to Bella. "I'll talk to her."

* * *

Aubrey took a deep breath and smoothed her hands on the front of her jeans. She hadn't seen Stacie in four years, she hadn't talked to her in almost as long, aside from that brief phone call earlier. She opened the door with a barely there smile on her face.

"Where is she?" Stacie was doing everything to avoid looking at Aubrey.

"She's in my room." Aubrey stepped back. "I was hoping we could talk first?"

Stacie shrugged, following Aubrey inside the apartment. She looked around the living room, her arms still crossed in front of herself. "Nice place."

"Thanks." Aubrey stood awkwardly in front of her. "Do you want tea or something?"

"I just wanna get Bella and go."

"Right." Aubrey motioned at Stacie to sit down. "I'm back."

Stacie chuckled. "Yeah, thanks for the heads up, we had to find out from Beca."

"I was waiting to get settled first." She pointed at the boxes still littering the living room. "I wanted to have Bella's room ready."

"Bella's room?"

"I want to be in her life again," Aubrey said. "I don't want to be a stranger."

Stacie looked away and shook her head. "Aubrey, you can't jump in and out of her life whenever you feel like it."

"I know, I know." She knew talking Stacie into letting her back in was going to be difficult. She reached out for her hand, making sure she was looking at her before speaking again. "You know I wouldn't do this if I wasn't sure I could be there for her."

Stacie's look softened but she shook her head. "I don't know."

"Please, Stacie." Aubrey felt her throat close up.

Stacie pulled her hand back and sighed. "I'll think about it, okay?"

Aubrey let out a breath. "Thank you."

This wasn't the result she was hoping for but it was better than an outright refusal.

She stood up. "I'll go get Bella so you can go."

She knocked on the door softly, pushing the door open when she heard the girl's voice from the other side. She was sitting on Aubrey's bed, holding a frame she'd taken from Aubrey's dresser that held a picture of both of them.

Bella smiled up at Aubrey and tapped the frame. "I have this picture."

"It's my favorite." Aubrey leaned on the doorframe. "Your mom's ready to take you home."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Do I have to?"

Aubrey walked over to the bed and knelt down in front of the girl. "I know you're mad. At me and at her." Bella looked away. "And I know you might not understand yet, but your mom's always looked out for you." She tucked a strand of dirty blonde hair behind Bella's ear. "Cut her some slack, okay?"

"Fine," Bella said through gritted teeth.

Aubrey jumped up and held out her hand, smiling when Bella took it and led her back to the living room. Bella's hand tightened around hers when she spotted Stacie.

"Let's go," Stacie said.

Aubrey noticed Stacie's jaw twitch and knew Bella would get an earful as soon as they were out of the apartment. She squeezed Bella's hand back, but she couldn't really do anything about it. She would've been just as upset if she had left without letting her know.

Aubrey walked them to the door and leaned down to hug Bella goodbye, squeezing her tightly. "I love you."

Bella held onto her shirt after Aubrey pulled back and she looked up at her with watery eyes. "Am I gonna see you again."

Aubrey opened her mouth not really knowing how to answer that question. It wasn't up to her.

"We'll talk about it later," Stacie said tensely.

Bella glared up at Stacie and then look back at Aubrey, biting her lip. "Bye."

* * *

"You can't just leave the house without telling me!" Stacie quickened her pace to catch up to Bella who had stomped out of the building. "Something could've happened to you."

"I'm fine." Bella stopped when they reached the car and glared at her. "You didn't even notice I was gone, what does it matter?"

"I was letting you cool off." She hadn't thought much when Bella hadn't replied when she called her down for dinner after their fight, she just figured she needed more time. She usually did when it had to do with Aubrey. "And that's not the point."

"I needed to see her." Bella pulled the door handle but the car was still locked. "Are we going?"

Stacie rolled her eyes and got the key to unlock the door. "You're grounded."

"Whatever."

Bella flopped onto the front seat, crossing her arms with a deep frown. She didn't look up when Stacie got in and started the car, just sank down further on her seat. Stacie sighed, throwing another glance at her before pulling out.

She still looked mad, which was to be expected. She had never known how to handle the whole Aubrey situation, and Aubrey could've told her anything about what happened. She could've blamed it all on her.

She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. She wanted to think Aubrey wouldn't have done that. She had also thought Aubrey wouldn't leave them but she did. Of course she had broken up with her first so part of that was on her.

"I wanna see Aubrey again." Bella murmured.

"Bella," Stacie sighed. "I'm not sure that's the best idea."

"Why not?"

A million reasons. "We don't know if she'd back for good."

"She is," Bella protested.

"She said that?"

"She has a job here." Bella shook her head. "Why are you doing this again?"

"I'm not doing anything." Stacie let out an exasperated breath. "We'll talk about it later."

"Later when?"

"When you're not grounded anymore."

"And when is that gonna be?"

"When I say so." Stacie shook her head. "I told her I'll think about it, and I will, okay?"

"She asked?" Bella pulled her feet up on the seat and wrapped her arms around her knees. "I don't get why she even defended you, you're the worst."

Stacie pursed her lips confused. She didn't get why Aubrey would defend her but at least she was glad she didn't talk shit about her.

They rode the rest of the way in silence, Bella looking out the window and sniffling occasionally. Stacie knew she would have to do something about this, that if she kept Aubrey away Bella would only resent her and end up going to her anyway.

When they arrived home, she parked the car and turned to face her daughter. "I'll talk to her again tomorrow and see if we can work something out." Bella looked back at her with a hopeful smile. "But she needs to convince me she's here for good."

Bella threw her arms around her. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

"And you're still grounded."

"I know." Stacie squeezed her a little tighter, her mind still a blur from being worried about her and seeing Aubrey again after all this time. "I'm sorry I left without telling you."

Stacie grunted. "Don't ever do that again."

"Promise."


	3. Chapter 3

Aubrey’s father had been an elusive figure for most of her life. Even when she was a child and they’d lived together, he had always been distant. She could count on one hand the times they’d done something together, just the two of them. 

It had always felt like her father would rather be doing anything else than spend time with her, and for a long time it was all Aubrey cared about. All her accomplishments, her drive, came from a need to please her father, to show him that she was good enough.

High school valedictorian Aubrey Posen could’ve gone to the university of her choice, but in a small and futile act of rebellion, an attempt to get a reaction from her dad, she decided to go to Barden. When not even that caused the response she expected, Aubrey stopped actively trying to gain his father’s approval. However, the desire for it still remained, along with the disappointment that came whenever he failed to show he cared.

She’d had thought a lot about her relationship with her father and what kind of parent she wanted to be when she started playing a bigger role in Bella’s life. She hadn’t become a parent the usual way, she hadn’t been there when Bella was born, she’d missed all the sleepless nights at the beginning, the  midnight feedings, her first steps, her first word. It had happened slowly, both her and Stacie burrowing into her heart with careful, measured steps.

Stacie had never pressured her into taking a bigger role than she was ready for, letting her set the boundaries of her relationship with Bella. But as her relationship with Stacie got more serious, her relationship with Bella did too, and soon the toddler had stopped calling her Bree and had started calling her mom.

The first time it happened, the feeling took Aubrey’s breath away. It was as if that one word gave her the final push into motherhood, and was immediately followed by a paralyzing fear that she wouldn’t be good enough, that she’d end up making the same mistakes her father did and end up alienating Bella.

Sitting in her car after spending the day with her, she felt like she had accomplished just that.

It had all started fine, albeit a little awkwardly, when she picked up Bella from her house that morning. Stacie had opened the door, her smile a little stiff but genuine enough. Aubrey knew she was trying to be friendly for Bella’s sake and she appreciated it.

“Bella should be down in a minute.” She stepped back. “You wanna come in?”

Aubrey hesitated. She’d lived here for almost a decade, sat on that porch with Stacie watching Bella ride down the street on her bike. It had been her home, her safe place. She wasn’t sure she was ready to be inside again, to see what it had turned into without her.

“Bella, Aubrey’s here!” Aubrey heard Stacie yell through the open front door so she stepped inside, the feeling of deja vu making her pause again.

Stacie looked back and caught her staring at the line on shoes by the door. The spot where hers would go was empty, and Aubrey would’ve thought it was a coincidence, but the look on Stacie’s face when she realized where she was looking made her think maybe it wasn’t.

Stacie opened her mouth to say something but the sound of Bella’s steps on the stairs interrupted her. They exchanged an awkward look and Aubrey turned to the girl skipping down towards her.

“Hi,” Aubrey said. She still wasn’t used to this image of Bella, who still look very much like a kid but very little like the kid she’d been.

“Hey.” Bella stopped next to Stacie, balancing on her toes with her hands in her pockets, and Aubrey tried not to feel bad about the fact that she hadn’t gotten a proper greeting.

She fumbled with her car keys and took a step back towards the door. “I’ll have her back before dinner.”

“Great, yeah.” Stacie gave Bella a little nudge and the girl finally moved closer to Aubrey, grabbing her jacket and slipping on a pair of worn converse. “Have fun!”

Aubrey smiled at Stacie over her shoulder and followed Bella to the car, smiling tightly at her as they both fastened their seatbelts. She struggled to come up with something to talk about as she started driving, deciding to steer clear of more serious topics of conversation for now and focus on reconnecting with Bella.

It wasn't easy. Bella's eyes had been glued to her phone ever since she got in the car. Aubrey had figured she'd be more excited about spending time with her, given that she'd been the one who had sought her out and had insisted they hung out.

“So what’s up?”

Bella looked up from her phone. “What’s up?”

Aubrey rolled her eyes at herself, knowing Bella could see through her exaggeratedly casual tone. “Did your mom ground you?”

“Yes.” Bella huffed and sat back. “I don’t even know for how long.”

“Well...” Bella’s jaw dropped as Aubrey shook her head disapprovingly. “You did leave without telling her.”

Bella frowned, her lips pursing into a petulant pout and then looked back at her phone. Aubrey frowned and realized that maybe siding with Stacie hadn’t been the best first move; except they’d always tried to present a united front when it came to parenting, and even though they weren’t together anymore, she didn’t think it was a good idea to start questioning Stacie’s choices. Especially when she was trying to prove she could still be in Bella’s life.

“I thought we could go to the zoo.” Bella arched an eyebrow but didn’t look up. “I read they have new baby hedgehogs. And we can stop by at that ice cream place we used to go to?”

“Sure.” Bella shrugged, which was apparently as much enthusiasm as Aubrey was going to get today.

She shook it off, focusing on the road and deciding to leave her be for the rest of the car ride. She knew it was gonna take some time and effort to win Bella’s trust back.

Bella seemed to appreciate the silence since she didn’t make an attempt to talk to Aubrey either. She didn’t even look up from her phone at all until they stopped in front of the park.

“Ice cream first?” Aubrey asked.

Bella shrugged again, much to Aubrey’s annoyance, and got out of the car, crossing the street before Aubrey even got out of the car. She had to hurry to catch up to her before she went into the ice cream shop, the door almost closing behind the girl before she could stop it.

Aubrey stopped just inside the door and looked around, the familiar jingle from the bell taking her back to the countless times they visited the shop. Bella always asked for a scoop of her favorite, mint chocolate chip, and Stacie always got the new flavor of the month, no matter how disgusting it sounded. Bella loved trying the new flavor, knowing Stacie would let her share it and having her own scoop to fall back on if she didn’t like it. Sometimes Stacie even managed to convince Aubrey to try it and the times she wouldn’t, Stacie would plant a sloppy, sticky kiss on her lips so she’d be forced to lick the ice cream off.

“Aubrey?”

Aubrey looked up, her name sounding foreign coming from Bella. She hadn’t called her Aubrey since… ever. She swallowed the knot in her throat and inhaled deeply. “Yes?”

“What do you want?”

Aubrey felt a pang again. Bella used to know her ice cream order, she always got the same. “Rocky road, in a cup.”

Bella gave no sign of remembering Aubrey’s favorite ice cream and turned towards the girl behind the counter. “One rocky road in a cup and a mocha almond in a cone.”

“They have mint chocolate chip,” Aubrey pointed out causing Bella’s mouth to tighten.

“I don’t really get that anymore.” She half shrugged and grabbed her cone from the girl, moving back so Aubrey could take her cup and get to the register.

Looking up as she put her card back in her wallet, she noticed Bella had been waiting for her by the door. “You don’t wanna sit for a bit?”

“We can just eat on the way there.” She opened the door and raised her eyebrows expectantly when Aubrey didn’t immediately follow her.

“Right.”

Aubrey followed Bella back towards the park in silence. She didn’t understand what was happening. She thought Bella wanted this, that she’d be excited about doing something with her. She’d even picked something she knew she liked. But it seemed that Bella just wanted to get over with it.

She caught up to Bella as she crossed the street. She didn’t know what to say or how to act. Everything she did seemed to be wrong and she was running out of ideas. She decided to stick to neutral territory.

“I heard they redid the small mammal and reptile house last year.” Bella looked up and slowed down to match her pace which Aubrey took as a win. “Have you been yet?”

“No.” She pursed her lips. “I haven’t really been here in a while.”

“Oh.” Aubrey slowed down. She hadn’t really considered Bella might be too old for the zoo. “Do you wanna go somewhere else?”

“It’s fine.” She shrugged, something Aubrey was starting to get really tired of. “We’re here.” She nodded at the trash can next to the zoo gate and pointed at Aubrey’s ice cream cup. “You done with that?”

Aubrey handed her the cup and watched her walk away with a sigh, wondering how she’d be able to bridge the gap them.

She grabbed a map from the stand next to the entrance and traced the route to their destination with her finger.

“We need to go around the seal pool and then down towards the swan pool,” she said when she noticed Bella’s shadow beside her, tapping the place where the baby hedgehogs were housed.

Bella leaned on the railing to watch the seals and Aubrey noted the small reluctant smile on her face as one of them waddled on the rock right in front of where she was and jumped into the water. Aubrey smiled too, knowing she hadn’t been that wrong with her guess that Bella still liked animals.

“Are you still playing soccer?”

She shook her head without looking away from the seals. “Lacrosse.”

“I was Junior Varsity in high school,” Aubrey said surprised.

“I know.”

Aubrey’s smile widened, noticing Bella was pointedly avoiding to look at her. “Maybe I can go to one of your games.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

The rest of the visit went a lot better. Bella seemed to relax a little, even smiled a few times, especially when they got to the baby hedgehogs. The tiny animals were hard to spot at first. Being nocturnal, the lights had to be dimmed to make them come out, but once she spotted the small brown balls, Bella pressed her face as close as she could to the glass.

By the time they came out of the small building, Bella appeared to be completely at ease with Aubrey, chatting happily about the animals until they got to the next enclosure.

Aubrey broke the comfortable silence that had settled between them, not wanting to lose their rapport now that they were outside. “So you’re starting high school next fall, right?”

“Yup.” Bella tilted her head to look at the animals, offering nothing further.

“Are you excited?”

She shrugged and Aubrey noted it was the first time she did it since they’d entered the zoo. “I guess? It’s just more school.”

“Have you picked your AP classes yet?”

Bella frowned. “I didn’t know I could do that as a freshman.”

“Oh, totally. I did it.” Aubrey nodded, happier now that she got the conversation going. “You can start out with two AP classes and mix in a few honors classes too. I can go with you to talk to your counselor before school starts if you want.”

Bella turned, her eyebrows high on her forehead and she shook her head. “Really?”

“Yeah, we can-” Aubrey hesitated when she realized Bella’s less than happy countenance. “What?”

“Nothing.” Bella scoffed and looked down, crossing her arms in front of herself and starting to walk away from Aubrey. “I’ll figure out my own classes, thanks.”

Aubrey insisted. “You don’t have to take AP classes next year, I guess, but colleges, good colleges, care about that.”

“I’ll take it into consideration.”

“I’m sure there’s a list of AP classes available for incoming freshmen, it’s-”

“Stop it!” Bella stopped, looked back and bit her lip. “You’re not my mom. You can’t-” She waved her arms helplessly. “Just stop.”

Aubrey held her breath and nodded rapidly, biting down on her lower lip before looking away to try to hide the tears she could feel pooling in her eyes. She realized she might have crossed a line, started acting too much like Bella’s mom without earning the right to do it again, but she didn’t know how else to act with her.

“I know I’m not your mom, I’m not trying-” She stopped, she didn’t want to lie to Bella since she was in fact trying to be her mom, trying to get back to where they were before she left.

She thought of her dad, of how she felt when he gave her unsolicited advice and her urge to do exactly the opposite of what he wanted for her. “Just don’t waste your potential to get back at me.”

Bella chuckled darkly. “Don’t worry, that won’t happen, Aubrey.” Bella looked up at the zoo gate, only a few yards from where they’d stopped and shook her head. “This is stupid, I don’t know why I thought this was a good idea. Can you take me home?”

“Sure.” Aubrey’s heart sank. “If that’s what you want.”

“Yes, please.”

The ride back was spent in complete silence. Aubrey kept looking over at Bella, hoping for some sign she wasn’t giving up on her, but she didn’t look away from the window once. When she pulled over in front of the house, Bella mumbled goodbye and got out of the car without another word. The dull thud of the car door closing sounded too loud, too final. In the four years Aubrey had been gone, she’d never felt so far from Bella.


End file.
